Parody of this

Look at it this way. A Dwarf owning a beard is a huge responsibility and they need to take care of it.

The only thing better than a Dwarf with a full beard is a Dwarf with a well kempt full beard.

Seeing this I immediately thought of this quote from Terry Pratchett's Hogfather:

"They always gives me bath salts," complained Nobby. "And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I can't think why, 'cos it's not as if I hardly ever has a bath. You'd think they'd take the hint, wouldn't you?"